mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish I only lived at night.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
