Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
