i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
