I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
