Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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