I'm going to jail i love you
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize