nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
