Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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