I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Say something about gay babies.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
