I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
