I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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