Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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