Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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