hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
