so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
