Can i not drive my cunt home
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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