Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
