But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
