Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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