Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
