it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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