Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
