I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
