Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
