And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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