just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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