I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
