i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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