I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I supernannyed him into submission
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
