is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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