I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
