It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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