It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
