dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
