i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the condom got lost in my hair
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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