Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
