my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
