If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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