I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
