I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
