Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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