he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize