You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
