i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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