I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
