Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
