Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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