your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
