I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
