he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
