Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
