But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize