Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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