those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
