Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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