When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
