He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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