Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
