is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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