8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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