Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
