Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize