I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Your penis caused this!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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