I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
