You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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