Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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