Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
