so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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