Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
