used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
