i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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