ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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