We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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