I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
