Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
