Where is the hickey?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
