So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
